2020 Austin Marathon Recap: The Fire is Lit and What's Next

It’s taken me a minute to reflect on my last marathon. I’ve gone pretty silent on social media and haven’t had the energy or time to really think about how the race went until today.

To be honest - since my struggle bus of a 1/2 marathon a couple weeks prior to Austin, I have had a hard time getting back into the right mindset for racing. I had a lot of doubts in my ability and wondered whether the goals I set for myself for this block were too far fetched. Would I ever be able to run the way I used to again?

But one thing I knew was I would not give up trying. And I would continue to show up. If this block taught me anything it’s the power of consistency and routine. I didn’t miss a single run, workout or recovery day. I stuck to the schedule as written (something I never really did before) and actually looked forward to each challenge I saw on my training plan. I got in every long run - some easier than others - in the middle of winter in Chicago. Only one had to be moved indoors on the treadmill. In all, it was a decent block.

The week leading into the race actually started off really great. I had a good last long run with the DWRunning team followed by a year-in-review that inspired and motivated me to push even harder. The Sunday before the race all the ladies of the DWRunning team got together for an informational session on issues female runners face. This was a great session and I learned a ton. It has actually inspired me to turn my focus in my private practice more towards the needs of female runners - but it also made me realize that my own menstrual cycle was not aligning well for my performance in Austin. I got in my head even more wondering if Austin was going to feel like F^3 or possibly even worse. Fortunately my coach Dan talked some sense into me. We agreed that Austin was never going to be a PR race. I put in the work and now was the time to enjoy it and forget about the time on the clock for a change (much easier said than done for me).

A couple easy runs later and what started out as a pretty good last workout ended with a hamstring tweak that had me screaming all kinds of profanities and jog/limping home less than 5 days out from the race. I reminded myself - I’ve been here before - I know what to do and spent the next 2 days resting, icing, elevating and medicating it. I did all the exercises my PT gave me a couple years ago to help alleviate and strengthen the glute/hammy and by Saturday the pain was much improved and I started to believe in myself again. Honestly - the tweak actually helped my taper tantrums as once it happened, I decided to just roll with the punches.

The trip to Austin was uneventful and the day prior I stuck to my typical routine of waking up early-ish, doing a 2-3 mi shakeout run with my husband followed by breakfast, hitting up the expo and then a little sight seeing (but not too much) followed by resting my legs while hanging out at a brewery (only have 1 and followed it with plenty of water) playing card games. We grabbed an early-for-us (6:30 pm) dinner at an Italian restaurant a couple blocks from our hotel and were back in the hotel by 9 pm with the lights off by 10. I attempted to sleep but unfortunately couldn’t turn off my nervous energy. I think I finally dosed off around 12 am. With a 5 am wake up call, that’s not so bad since the night prior I slept a good 8-9 hours.

Once the alarm went off I was up and ready. With a 7 am race start, I try to time everything back from that and know that I need to eat breakfast about 90 minutes before to have adequate time for digestion/bathroom breaks, etc. We stayed just a couple blocks from the start and finish line so I didn’t have to check a bag or leave the hotel until 6:15 am, which was nice and allowed me time to try and relax and stay off my feet. Once it was time to head out we walked over to the starting area. I was in the corral as planned by 6:40-ish and found some familiar faces from the Chicago running community to chat with. The clock continued to tick on and the nerves started to set in. I was anxious to get going as I knew once I started running the nerves would dissipate and I’d feel better.

Around 6:55, we noticed that the national anthem hadn’t been sung and started to wonder what was going on. The race announcer got on the mic and let us know that there were some issues with the course and that the race would be delayed. At first, he noted they weren’t sure how long. So I stayed where I was hoping it would be a quick fix. Eventually he came back on the mic and told us it would be at least 40 minutes. In the moment I wasn’t too upset. I had people to chat with. But in hindsight I realize those 40 minutes really messed me up. Had I known how delayed the start was going to be, I would have eaten breakfast later, stayed off my feet longer, gone to the bathroom one more time, slept a little longer. There was nothing I could do about it - so I tried to just remain calm and positive. This had happened to me once before and did not impact my race performance - so surely, it wouldn’t be a big deal.

Once the race course was cleared they moved things along pretty smoothly. At about 7:45 am we were finally off. It didn’t take long for me to realize I needed to pee. And was a little bit hungry. I decided I would start to take my gels sooner given the late start and warmer temps and would try to take water or Nuun at every water stop. But I had never had to pee in a race. I ignored it hoping the urge would go away. And for a little while, it worked.

The first 6 miles were almost a blur. I actually really enjoyed them despite miles 1-3 being a gradual incline the entire way. I ran most of it with the 3:10 pace group - and eventually got ahead of the group for a bit as - while I enjoy pacing groups - I don’t like racing in a big pack. Miles 3-7 were net downhill and the best I felt all race. I smiled at my husband as I rolled through 6 and enjoyed my gel between miles 6 and 7. As I approached mile 8 though, I knew I could no longer ignore the urge to pee. I justified it in my head since I knew that this would not be a PR day and I knew I would feel so much better afterwards and could catch back up with the 3:10 group eventually. Unfortunately that did not happen.

I don’t know if other runners experience this - but once I stop - even if only for a couple minutes - getting my momentum back is so so difficult. And today it wasn’t going to make a reappearance. I saw the 3:10 pace group off in the distance and thought if I could just keep them within eye shot for the rest of the race, I’d still meet my A goal of sub 3:15. I turned into miles 8-12 and hello gnarly hills. Rolling and unending - those hills killed my mojo. My A goal turned into my B goal as the 3:15 group closed in on me.

Once we reached mile 12 the 1/2 marathoners peeled off towards the finish line and the full marathoners continued on. To me, this is where the race really began and where the mental battle kicked in. While my lungs felt fine, the hills really started to take a toll on my legs. I saw my husband again at mile 14 and attempted a smile but he could tell things were starting to fall apart. I tried to break down the race into chunks of 3 miles each to make it seem more reasonable. I thought about all the reasons I run and that the only thing that mattered right now was getting to the finish line. That I’ve never DNF’d a marathon that I’ve signed up to race and today would not be that day.

Eventually I made it to mile 18 and saw my husband again. I asked him to join me for a little bit and told him I was struggling. That I wanted to quit. That each leg felt like it weighed 100 lbs. And I asked him to talk me off the ledge. He told me how proud he was of me, that I was strong, and that I could do this - that I’ve done it before. I told him I didn’t know if I could but that I would try and I continued on.

I tried to switch my focus to my surroundings and take everything in. I noticed a couple cool looking breweries and made a mental note to check them out post-race. As we approached mile 23 a spectator mentioned we were almost there - just 7 miles to go. When you are already a bit delirious from running 23 miles - that’s the last thing you want to here. I looked at my watch to confirm we had less than 3 miles to go and yelled back at the guy to get his math right - which made a couple runners around me smile and improved my mindset a bit. I knew that my A goal and B goal were now out the window but that finishing was going to happen. So I might as well try to enjoy it and I continued on.

Around mile 25 the 3:25 group closed in on me. I did my best to stick with them but my legs were shot and there were more hills ahead. I kept saying over and over don’t stop or walk. With just a mile to go, I overheard a spectator mention how much pain I looked to be in. Thanks spectator. I was. I turned the curve onto Congress and saw the finish line ahead. I picked up my pace a bit when I saw how close to 3:25 I was. I heard Andrew scream my name, crossed the line and immediately started crying.

This one was a mental battle from the minute the gun went off. But I pushed through. During the race I stayed in the race. And while I contemplated quitting, I stuck it out. And for that I’m proud.

And while a 3:25:44 is one of the slowest marathons I’ve had in the last 5 years, it’s light years faster than when I first started, on a very tough course and in much warmer temps than I’m currently used to. What’s more - it was good enough for a 3rd place age group finish and 15th female overall which says something about how hard the course was.

After the race we made our way to 24 Diner for the best chicken and waffles I think I’ve ever had. I thanked my husband for his support and for making it to at least 4 spots on the course to cheer me on. I could not have done it without him. We enjoyed the rest of our long weekend and visited those two breweries I saw!

Upon returning to Chicago I have decided that it’s time to give myself a break from destination marathons - but not racing. I’m not ready to take time off just yet and the fire is lit for more. I feel like I built a great base this past block and that my body is recovering well. It has been years since I raced a full marathon surrounded by my team and friends. So I’m setting my sights on the Illinois Marathon in late April. Goals TBD but excited to get back to work after a full week off from running!

At packet pickup

Around mi 3 still feeling good w/the 3:10 group

Crossing the bridge back into the city around mi 6

Running up one of the many hills

And then down - which hurts a lot after 20+ mi

Finish line with all the feels/emotions

Enjoying my post race beer